Article - Laura Knight-Jadczyk
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Article - Laura Knight-Jadczyk
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Chapter 22
So, the question is: why was this remark made? Is it an overlay of Frank's desires? Or, on the other hand, is it another clue the C's were giving about the fact that Frank was the "odd man out" and that nothing would proceed until he was out of the picture altogether? Considering the way things have played out, and we will cover all the details as we go along, I tend to the latter interpretation, especially considering the added remark about "snakes in the grass." One automatically thinks of "nurturing a serpent in one's bosom," and that certainly seems to be what we were doing with Frank, and later, others. Another factor in the early months of 1999 was my concern about my two eldest daughters who were just simply completely unhappy about the whole Cassiopaean thing. It was a source of deep embarrassment to them that their mother was publishing the material on the internet, not to mention their awareness, followed by denial, that there might be something to what the C's were saying. They just wanted a "normal life." Well, I could certainly sympathize with that. I wanted a normal life too. I just wanted to be able to read and study, and write a little when I felt like it, work in my garden, take care of my beloved husband and children, my house, and for God's sake, have a little peace after all the years of bone-grinding struggle. I didn't want to think about "aliens" or Ultraterrestrials being at the top of the food chain. I didn't want to have to deal with the fact that anybody with a brain could see that something strange and predatory was moving on our planet. I didn't want to have to wake up in the morning and think about all the suffering of humanity for millennia, and that it was very likely only a precursor to what was to come in the not-too-distant future, whether or not it was due to Ultraterrestrial manipulation, or simply human greed and ignorance. I just wanted to dig in the dirt, arrange flowers, comb through thrift stores for rare or unusual books and odd things that I liked, take the girls to the hairdresser or dance class or sewing lessons, and live like a normal human being. Was that too much to ask? I wept for the world that I would like to live in. I wept for my daughters and the certain pain they felt in facing this same question. I wept for all the others I knew who had faced it as well. But weeping is not the way of the Warrior. Beware of those who cannot stop weeping when they realize their true condition, for they have realized nothing. As Don Juan and Gurdjieff tell us, there are untold dangers in the path of knowledge for those without sober understanding. Seers have to be methodical, rational beings; paragons of sobriety and yet free and open to the wonders and mysteries of existence.
I realized that there is nothing more lonely than eternity. And this is the human dilemma. There is nothing more cozy than to be a human being. We can live forever behind veils of illusion, suffering our blindness, and dying in our ignorance. And, until some aspect of that human has had its fill of suffering and death, there will be no desire to venture into the absolute loneliness of eternity. It is only the soul that is ready for this definitive journey that becomes a Warrior, willing to risk the soul chilling fear and the unspeakable joy of traveling into the unknown. If you can't handle the fear, you cannot know the love at the "Higher" levels. In the very earliest days of my internet experience, I had encountered a "web personality" who went by the handle of Density4, and signed all his messages "Blue Resonant Human." It was sort of a humorous dig at those who followed the Mayan calendar. Blue, as I began to call him, and I hit it off immediately, and I have entire disks full of email discussions we carried on through the years 1996 to 1999. In the very early days, when I was attacked by the crowd on Mike Lindemann's ISCNI discussion board for daring to suggest that aliens might not have our best interests at heart, Blue jumped to my defense, and I witnessed words being used in a way I had never thought possible - literally like swords. The Lindemann harpies fled in terror, and I decided that participating in their discussions was a waste of time and energy. But Blue and I chatted on, and I have him to thank for many, many enlightening posts. I was naive in the extreme, and he undertook to protect me and educate me in matters that were crucial to my survival.
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