Article - Laura Knight-Jadczyk
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Article - Laura Knight-Jadczyk
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Chapter 12
So, what exactly was going on that I didn't want to talk about except in allusions and veiled questions? First of all, indeed, the "channel" had been blown wide open in me. The only way I can describe this feeling is that it was like having a huge opening right in the solar plexus through which emotional energy poured like water exploding through a collapsed dam. And each of these emotions was connected to a memory, and as they rushed in, the memories were activated and I re-experienced every single one of them like a concentrated, fast forward review. And I remembered every single detail of this former life with "Frank." Indeed, we were children of a powerful man, though I cannot say if there is any accuracy to the name the C's gave. And when our father died, he left me in the care of my "brother." However, Frank, as the "brother" of that lifetime was what was called in those days "dissolute" and self-indulgent to an extreme degree. He was weak and inconstant and the only object over which he had complete control was me. And he exercised that control with fiendish depravity. I will spare the reader the Marquis de Sade type scenes I was witnessing in my own head, accompanied by horror and sick revulsion, and will only say that after it was all over, I had to find some way to reconcile this truly wicked and corrupt Frank with the current Frank who repeatedly expressed extreme distaste for normal human sexuality. Frank's rejection of this side of himself - his complete denial of any sexual nature at all - had been something of a puzzle anyway, and now I had a perfectly reasonable theory as to why this would be so. I concluded that he had felt so much remorse in the afterlife state that he resolved to come back and atone for his sins by repressing and suppressing any such inclinations. In this way, I was able to justify Frank's views, all the while ignoring the hints that were given here and there that he engaged in vicariously prurient activities. I was able to shove under the rug the remarks he had made on numerous occasions indicating a more-than-casual acquaintance with literature sold from behind the counter, in plain brown wrappers, as well as dark smoky dives where, as he once remarked, one had to be careful where one stepped to avoid having one's shoes stick to the floor. When I asked what that meant, he guffawed at my ignorance and refused to explain it. It was only much, much later that someone else did. But we believe what we choose to believe. And I chose to believe that Frank was on the road to atonement, and learning, and balancing his karma. Just because I remembered how horribly I had been treated by him, didn't mean that I had to bring it up and blame him now. Nevertheless, these events are what bring us to the question I asked the C's in my mind which led to such a strange answer that contained within it an amazing prediction. Before we diverted to the story of Frank's father, the issue was the UFO conference in Gulf Breeze that was to be held rather soon. We were talking about attending and distributing our magazine, the Aurora Journal, and I was reminded of the fact that the Cassiopaeans had suggested going to a Gulf Breeze conference "in the spring" at a time when the Gulf Breeze conferences had always been held in the fall. Now, this is one session that I believed to be corrupted. The woman, D__, was the probable cause - but there was also a STRONG conflict between her and Jan. There were a LOT of peculiar things about this whole session. The whole "personality" that came through in occasional surges WAS D__, as we were to find out later. But, also, there WAS some of the C's energy coming through. I think the first clue I had was when they abbreviated the word "Cassiopaea," which was odd... almost as though it were a clue that I was only going to make a partial connection.
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