Adventures With Cassiopaea

Chapter 9

Another example of this that deals directly with Frank's growing resentment that he was not being given top billing is the next excerpt. We had gotten into a discussion about it because he had started another of his "pity me" rants and I had just told him in a joking way that if he started on that again I was going to throw something at him. He became all upset that I had used a word describing a physical act of "violence." I pointed out that the "violence" was only words spoken in defending myself against his words which were, effectively, doing violence to me because they were draining my energy.What was more, it was merely a metaphor, and he knew I really wasn't going to throw anything at him. But he just wanted to argue, so I suggested that sometimes, one had to do or say something to make the point. What is interesting about this one is the fact that the following excerpt generally contradicts the information given in the session about Frank's many rants as being his way of "fighting back." Of course, as I have already mentioned, the truth was coming through then, though it was being skewed by Frank's agenda. The same is true in the following:

June 1, 1996
Q: (L) Frank and I would like to have a comment on our dispute.
A: Ask.
Q: (F) I don't know what to ask. (L) Well, Frank says that violence is NEVER an appropriate response to words.
A: Okay.
Q: (L) I say that under some circumstances, it may be the only response.
A: Why do you say that?
Q: (L) Because there do exist situations where words are used repeatedly to harm another. One example is the Nazi propaganda machine. If someone had shot Goebbels, it might have saved a lot of people from dying.
A: No.
Q: (L) Well, of course. There would have been someone else. Still, the point is, words can be used to destroy, and words of power can be used to kill. Sometimes words can be a lot more hurtful to the soul than physical acts.
A: Not directly.
Q: (L) Well, directly, or indirectly, it still amounts to the same thing.
A: No.
Q: (L) Well, I know you are not going to agree with me.
A: This is a subject that demands further exploration, in order to bring about a definitive answer.
Q: (L) Go ahead. Explain it to me.
A: Words only have power if the receiver believes they do.
Q: (L) But, in many cases, that belief exists.
A: The power to control belief lies exclusively within the receiver.

Which, of course, begs the question of why it was okay for Frank to "fight back" with words, but it was not okay for me to do it! In another sense, however, if Frank was already "marked" as an STS individual, then the answers then and in this particular session were exactly correct, only I was seeing them from the idea that Frank was seeking to serve others.

Q: (L) Let me put it this way: Frank often says things that are not precisely soothing to the soul, to say the least. Most often, I ignore them. But, sometimes I am not in an ignoring mood, and my response is no more violent toward him than his toward me. I merely speak metaphorically. When I do, I am only saying "Stop doing that!" in a figurative way. But, he finds this to be as irritating to him as what he says that irritates me...
A: And...
Q: (L) Well, that is about it. I have lately been verbally attacked by numerous individuals... so I am not in a mood to tolerate much in this line from those around me.
A: And if this irritates you, it is because you allow it to.
Q: (L) Fine and dandy. And it is true, and I know it. Which is why I am beginning to think that I ought to simply do nothing, because my feelings are too sensitive.
A: And do you really believe that that is an unalterable condition?
Q: (L) Well, why should I be the one who is obliged to become less sensitive, and other people are not obliged to become more thoughtful about what they say?
A: You cannot control others.
Q: (L) I don't want to control anyone. I am just saying that the obvious thing is for me to simply withdraw into my own little world of reading and thinking and writing, and if nothing ever comes of any of it, it is utterly immaterial to me.

And here we see Frank's powerful emotional reaction. There I was, suggesting that we give the entire project up, forget about the C's, forget about making Frank a star, and just go back to doing what I enjoyed doing where I certainly didn't have to put up with Frank or the various types of nastiness encountered on the internet, from Frank, and elsewhere.

A: That is your choice, but not a wise one!!!
Q: (L) Well, you say that, but it is, as several people have pointed out to me, only since we have begun this channeling project that all these dreadful things have happened in my life. My life is a shambles!
A: "Dreadful is subjective."
Q: (L) I would say that the physical things that have happened to me, the collapse of my marriage, the things that have happened to my children, are pretty damn dreadful, subjectively or otherwise!
A: Before these changes began to manifest, you were deeper into the "deadly illusion" than you are now. Emergence is, by its very nature, uncomfortable. But, it has and will, empower you, we promise!!!!!!!!
Q: (L) It is a very trying time now. I am having a difficult time just coping.
A: And there have been others, and will be others, but that does not mean that the rewards will be slight.
Q: (L) Well...
A: You are on a path of destiny, and there is no turning back now.
Q: (S) What happened in specific? (L) Well, I was trying to explain some of the material to several people, and the end result was that they decided that I was possessed and that the C's were evil because they say that we have to figure things out ourselves in order to graduate to the next level. Including my husband.
A: Why does this bother you? It does not bother us. They can all decide that we are the "Queens of Satan," if they wish. It is free will.
Q: (L) I don't like the implied hardness... I am not a hard person.
A: It is not hardness. The "feelings" you describe are related to ego, and by relation, pride, two things that were deliberately implanted into the 3rd density human psyche by the 4th density STS 309,000 years ago, as you measure time. Refer to the transcripts with regard to DNA alteration and the occipital ridge. Believe it or not, you, Laura, will be rid of these, eventually. It is not what some individuals respond to you that matters. It is sharing the information that counts. Also, remember, these persons do not perceive your feelings and sensitivities as keenly as you do, nor do you perceive theirs, likewise.

That was all fine and good, and I certainly couldn't argue with it in principle. However, I was having some difficulty understanding how feeling hurt after being attacked for sharing some of the C's material was related to "ego and pride." What is more, this didn't seem like the C's I was used to. Indeed, there comes a time when a person needs to "toughen up," but considering the beating I had been taking for so long, these remarks were singularly cold.

Continue to Page 55

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